Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Welcome Aboard Carl Icahn

"Goldman Sachs Group Inc. [GSG] will consider mergers to make it a more diversified financial company, but only if the deals keep Goldman's focus and culture intact, Chief Executive Lloyd Blankfein said at a conference Tuesday. ... 'We're going to consider everything,' but won't be provoked into 'doing something rash' that the company will spend years reversing, Mr. Blankfein said in response to an investor question at Tuesday's Merrill Lynch financial-services conference. ... He added, however, that the 'core strategy' of Goldman 'is to be able to recruit and train the best people ... and compensation plays an important role'," Aaron Lucchetti at the WSJ, 12 November 2008.

"When Wall Street crashed, [Carl Icahn] adds, the guys that drove the companies off the cliff made off with huge severance packages. 'It's worse than what Marie Antoinette got guillotined for! They just walked off with hundreds of millions, leaving shareholders and employees stranded. And where's the outrage?' ... There are, or course, exceptions. But Mr. Icahn says some boards are so bad that it's (almost) funny. There's no need to watch Saturday Night Live anymore, he adds, 'I just sit at a board meeting.', " my emphasis, Emily Parker interview of Carl Icahn (CI) at the WSJ, 15 November 2008.

Lloyd old buddy, old pal. Shut up. Keep your head down. If you do, you might keep it. The peasants are screaming for bread and you want to keep GSGs "focus and culture", whatever they are. Now I dub you Lloyd Antoinette Blankfein (LAB). You are less in touch with the peasants than was Louis XVI in 1789. You worry about compensating GSG's "best people". I say tell them, "Boys, GSG now gives you an opportunity to become entrepreneurs. Leave. Here's a year's severance pay. Set up your own shops and keep all the profits you make. Oh, and keep you heads down". Yes Lloyd? I laughed as I read this article. LAB must live on the other side of the "looking glass". George Orwell's Animal Farm, 1945, may be a more appropriate "book theme" for today. All the animals were equal except the pigs who were more equal than the others. Does that fit LAB? The pigs were more equal. Interesting.

CI may see the same profitable opportunity for GSG I see, renting that CNC guillotine and selling tickets to watch it at work. LAB, step forward and try it out. Millions will pay to see you on pay per view. What a classy exit. GSG can even donate the proceeds to Uncle Sam. The proceeds might reimburse Unc for the $700 billion Hank Paulson bailout. The DVD sales should bring in billions! It's the least you can do for your country. Do you remember JFK's inaugural address? Now you have something to do.


Anonymous said...


You're on fire!

Definitely pitch CI on the cable/DVD CNC project.

Right up his alley-

Printfaster said...

How about GS moving to Zimbabwe, that way they can have more money to play with.

"Preserve their culture", more like preserve their cult. More like preserve their homes in the Hamptons, and Gstaad, and Monaco. Gad how arrogant. Rubin and his ilk need to bear the fruits of their labors.

GS has done nothing for the US economy and is unapologetic. They are concerned with their own preservation.

Independent Accountant said...

A few months ago I adopted a reader's suggestion and now refer to Bernanke as Zimbabwe Ben. About a year ago Ben Stein likened GSG to the KGB. Now, if GSG only had its own Jim Jones, the US financial crisis might get solved.

Greg Solovyev said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
grishick said...

Do you really think LAB cares? The US is not like 18th century France. The largest concern of the population is keeping their overmortgaged houses. As long as they get to keep their primary houses (not talking about second, third and forth houses bought to flip) they are not a viable threat to anyone. The people may become dangerous only when they have little to loose. Otherwise, they will settle for yelling at the TV screen, cursing at the "bad guys" together with their favorite talk radio hosts, and maybe some of them will write to their congressmen and senators, which won't change anything anyway. LAB has nothing to fear. He can do whatever he wants, because the government will make sure to keep people "just not poor enough" to riot.